My Year End Review.
Reviews suck. Except if you’re in it to get more from yourself.
I had surgery last week.
I give myself high marks for enthusiasm. Like, let’s do this Dr. B, let‘s get it done with. Hockey energy: let’s goooooo.
And also a B+ for being chipper while verifying the same information 3,000 times and being accepting of the hair cap and johnny and overall wandering around NYU with my ass hanging out and my feet in sticky purple socks that don’t stay up.
I also made great conversation with the anesthesia lady who in hindsight probably was like, just shut up already lady.
I’ve been laid up in bed or half tilted over on conference calls since.
This feels very 2024:
Dealing head on with stuff that’s real.
Good energy and spirit despite bouts of self loathing.
Curiosity.
Care.
Optimism.
Willingness to deal.
Sure, I can take that on…Let’s go energy.
Wanting to make everything fun.
Wanting to get and be better.
Humbling and accepting of hard, tedious and humiliating endeavors.
Then…entirely underestimating the impact and duration of things and how long they take to get through and get over.
Im tired exiting this year. Not depleted. I’ve felt depleted in other years. This year I am just tired.
All the things at once:
Excited for next year.
Feeling joy.
Running thru the to-dos, not getting as much done as I want
Hurting on this year and the stuff past.
Still feeling the drive to make and create.
Intolerant of some of the stuff I used to have time for.
Impatient for progress.
Not over stuff some of the stuff I should be.
Whole. Happy. Fragile. Strong. Hopeful. Committed. Worried. Weird.
